Weekend Fun

•January 25, 2010 • 1 Comment

Once again we had a nice family weekend starting with Friday night. We went out with some friends for dinner but left T at home with the maid as I don’t often like messing with his routine. We were home by 10:30pm so not a late night at all.

Saturday morning I suggested to Oli we go to the Pavilion for a change and do some shopping. Its a good 1.5 hours drive but was well worth it. The kids got spoilt as Christmas was pretty tight not to mention that since we spent it in Jhb and had no space in the car we couldn’t get all the presents we wanted to so on Saturday T finally got his Ride-on-Walker which he loves – its the one that converts into a little bike for when they get older.

I also bought him a long-overdue radio/cd player for his room and a couple of CD’s including the Sleep Sense Lala cd as the radio we would have used has taken up permanent residence in Oli’s workshop. Morgan got a whole set of “My Little Ponies” and a nice big lilo and Kaylah of course got money as she desperately wanted the “New Moon” DVD which sadly was not out in any of the shops we went to. If she’s anything like me when she wants something she HATES waiting.
Oli bought himself some nice clothes which was long overdue so I’m glad he finally spoilt himself for a change.
We also got a nice pair of running shoes for me as I had none and constantly used this as an excuse to not go for the 5pm run with Oli and the kids. Another problem was the pram we have for T which got terrible speed wobbles on the one time Oli took him with. Sooo we decided to get a not-too-expensive jogger pram for him and now no more excuses for me [watch this space]….
We feasted on a wonderful lunch of beef carpacio starter with capers, parmesan and rocket drenched in lemon juice, olive oil and balsamic and ordered one really delicious pizza to share between us for our main course. The reason I make reference to the wonderful lunch is due to the really crappy restaurants we have at home so when we do find a good restaurant with good service we are like kids in a candy store.
Saturday afternoon / night we were absolutely exhausted so all dropped into bed very early and woke up to a sweltering hot day on Sunday. Honestly the kind of heat that takes your breath away. I waited until at least 3:30pm before taking T to swim due to the scorching sun – so T, Morgan and myself swam in a pool that was 31 degrees and felt like tepid bath water. The minute you get out you’re hot again – I started feeling like I was on Lake Kareba in December (take it from me you DO NOT want to be that close to the equator in December).

Last night we had rolled pork, roast potatoes and veg but honestly I just couldn’t eat because of the heat so we should have probably stuck to salad’s a cold meat.

Trent is growing so well and has gone from a baby who hardly smiled to one that smiles all the time – his whole face lights up when he smiles and its just so contageous. He has been rocking on his hands and knees for a while now and has figured out that if he rocks to gain momentum then throws himself forward on his tummy and repeats he gets to where he wants to be so being on my bed is no longer an option unless under very close supervision. He has also got pretty bored being on his knees and now pushes up onto his feet so his bum is right up in the air.
As far as kisses and hugs go he is starting to not like them too much – possibly because he gets them from 5 different people in the house constantly so one can hardly blame him. Food wise his appetite is very good lately whereas a couple of weeks ago he never finished his food and more often than not spat it out.

Morgan has a little PeeWee motorbike and Oli taught her to ride yesterday – once she had the basics he took her to a field nearby and off she went. He phoned me and I jumped in the car armed with my NEW camera to watch this very proud moment. We will be buying all the safety gear before I allow her back on the bike however.

As for me I have been trying, throughout all the chaos at home, to read a book I bought on Saturday “Digital Photography Handbook” as an aide to help me better understand my new camera which I am absolutely over the moon about. A late Christmas present from DH.

I have a lot of saving to do for all the extra’s I would like to get incl. photoshop, tripod, micro lenses, zoom lenses, external flash and so it goes on …. not a cheap hobby at all but hopefully sometime in the future it will start paying back.

On that note I’m off to read my book and gain more valuable tips in the peaceful surroundings of my office.

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Pictures and Diets

•January 18, 2010 • 4 Comments

Oli and I started off this year with a bang on the diet front and I must say that so far I am very proud of him. He seems very determined to follow a healthy diet and hasn’t been to the local pub for the last two weekends – choosing rather to detox and take beach walks. It really makes it so much easier for me when I have someone doing it with me as our meals get simpler and he no longer brings unhealthy food like chocolates into the house.

So far he has lost 4kg’s since we started on 4 Jan and I have lost 5.2kg’s. I am feeling so strong and positive and I really hope to see this through to the end as I still have quite a journey ahead of me until I reach goal weight. Oli only needs to lose about 10kg’s and I want to lose another 18 to get to where I am comfortable. I was very tempted yesterday to try my pre-pregnancy black work pants on but decided I would wait another week as I would probably just disappoint myself if they didn’t yet fit – so for now its maternity pants but hopefully in the near future I will watch them burn to dust and never think of them again.

Other than that I have not loaded pics in quite a while so for now a few …..

Morgan and Grandpa New Years Eve

Surfer Dude

I want your drink daddy

This is the life

My very first day of school (Gr 1)

Letting Go…

•January 11, 2010 • Leave a Comment

So this weekend Kaylah’s friend who moved to Durban came by bus to spend some time with her and so far they have had a wonderful time catching up with eachother.
Yesterday we were all lazing around the pool and the two girls were on their cell phones frantically trying to make plans with other friends in town who also wanted to see Felicia before she goes back to Durban. Kaylah then asked if they could go to movies last night if they got a lift from one of her friends parents and I said it was fine. A few minutes later she told me another friend Monique’s father was on his way to collect them to take them to the beach, thereafter we must fetch them and they would probably be going out to movies last night with yet another friend. I suddenly realised after she had left for the beach that she had become independant of me. A little later we went to collect them and myself Oli, Morgan and Trent decided to indulge in a waffle where we were to meet them. They came to the table along with Monique but immediately decided to take a walk down to the beach and on their return sat at a seperate table clucking like little chickens about the goings on in all their teenage friends lives. After saying goodbye to Monique we all herded into the car and I heard my daughter saying to her friend “Shame that is sooo terrible” so I asked her what she was talking about. Her answer? “Sorry mom its a personal issue about another girl in the school”. I smiled sadly to myself as in one breath I am so proud of her and the many friendships she has forged and yet in another breath I suddenly felt that she no longer needs me as she used to.

I have always been incredibly protective of this child firstly because she is not Oli’s daughter and secondly because she just never knew how to take any of life’s knocks. I fought her battles for her fiercley and would literally turn anyone to dust who dared upset her. She was and still is a very sentisitve little soul and I remember as a baby and toddler she was a constant attachment to one of my legs when we were in the company of other people even when invited to kiddies parties she just would never partake in the festivities, rather choosing to hide by mommy.

As she grew and started school she was still a terribly uncertain little child and I spent many a day blaming myself because I believed it was due to her not having a father figure in her life. I constantly worried about her as she found it difficult to make friends and was often teased due to being overweight by little brats who had no idea that if the time was taken, they would discover in her a beautiful little gem that would be nothing but enriching to their lives.

Years later upon turning 13 things began to change. I NEVER EVER wanted to put any kind of pressure on her about her weight as I believe doing such can be dangerous so I would gently tell my husband to leave her be and let her find her own way. She did! She became a teenager and decided she wanted to look good – she exercised self-dicipline and restraint like that which I have never seen before. Suddenly before our eyes the transformation into a beautiful little swan. The compliments from everybody were and still are endless and after this everything else seemed to fall into place. She found her place in the school, she found her voice, she realised she had just as much right to be there as any of the other kids – one of the proudest moments of my life – a true cinderella story. Now at 16 years old she has so many friends that I just can’t keep up. She is a good, pure person who could teach me so much about love and patience, she attends youth and is christian in every sense of the word (again something I could learn from). She is always there when I need a shoulder to cry on or to lend a hand with Trent who she loves dearly.

All my hopes and dreams for her came true, my heart broke a million times over when she was that chubby little girl that was teased but here I sit today feeling a little ….. sad. She is growing up and she is needing me and my support less and less. She will always be my little girl – my first born but now mommy has to take a back seat and let her spread her wings – choking back the lump in my throat as my heart fills with pride.

I love you so much Kaylah – you will always be my No. 1

xxxxx

Another Year rolls around

•January 4, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I just can’t get my head around how quickly the years are going by lately I mean heck I can still remember playing in the yard as a child as if it were yesterday. In fact I remember being a child for a pretty darn long time yet my adult years have flown by so fast I have so many missing gaps. I can only assume it has to do with the fact that everything is so incredibly fast paced these days – there are cell phones, home PC’s, internet, email, palm pilots, blackberry’s, video conferencing etc etc.
What did they do all those years ago when someone left the office at 4:30 – 5pm to go home? No cell phones, no email no nothing so you went home, relaxed and spent good quality time with the family with absolutely no interruptions. The whole world turned slower because we had the time to stop and smell the roses and I honestly miss my childhood more than you’ll know. If I could do this whole thing over I would have had my children 30 years ago so they too could play in the parks, ride bikes or rollerskate on the streets until dark, invent games outdoors as there would be no TV – but their childhood will flash by them at the blink of an eye as we all try desperately hard to stay on this fast spinning merry-go-round. *sigh* Can somebody please show me where the pause button is – if only for a day or even an hour?

Christmas too went by in a flash but fun was had by all. It was great spending it in Jhb with my family for a change and I must say we really had a good time. I seem to be still recovering from the whole Christmas and New Year thing because I am constantly tired and just can’t seem to get enough sleep. I probably need a booster shot or something. As for New Years Resolutions I won’t be making any even though I intend to start and stick to a diet – it will not be a resolution but a goal that I will try my absolute best to follow to on a day to day basis. I also intend to stop smoking – yes I hate it – I hate how it turns me into a needy addict whenever I think I have run out but again this is nobody’s business but my own – I don’t need the added pressure thank you very much. I also want to start appreciating and pampering the woman inside me as somewhere along the way she got left behind and mom and wife took charge – she is my essence and was a long long time before the other two roles came in to play.

On that note this mommy has another stressful week ahead organising back-to-school goodies for the kids – once again the woman inside must wait…

•December 15, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Disappointed

•December 15, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Well today was supposed to be the day that Oli was paid out for his business and the new owner takes over but yesterday the agent called him to say it was not to be. The money was in her trust account ready to paid over to us and the lawyers were ready to hand over the letter for her to release the funds then the senior attorney decided that they were not going to take the risk until it had gone through the deeds office!!! This could take anything from 2 weeks to 3 months!!!

We were all completely gutted after receiving this news as Oli and I were so looking forward to a stress free Christmas yet now he has to continue running the business and looking to December as the most stressful month as it is his busiest of all. Coupled with the fact that we now have to juggle money to make Christmas special for the kids and still have a decent holiday. I am so fed up with these damned curve balls and I really am sick and tired of dusting myself off and carrying on but what else can we do. 😦
Although I was feeling at my lowest yesterday I told DH that we have to be positive and just keep going and reminded him that at least the deal is not off just postponed.
He told me that yesterday the attorneys FINALLY agreed to give us a bank guarantee as he was starting to worry that the guy may just change his mind. This is at least something!! The money will be paid into the bank’s account and they will provide us with a proper bank guarantee which we are all much happier with.

My mother’s birthday is on 29 December and the plan was to stay in Jhb and only leave on 30 December but now with this comes the issue of DH staying away from his business for any length of time. His father will still be there but this man cannot even crack an egg without the support of Oli ..aaarggghh.. so I expect his phone to ring 100 times a day thus putting a huge damper on the holiday.

There is nothing more to do here except remain positive and try to make the best of a bad situation.

P.S (On the bright side we will not have the temptation to splash out unnecessarily during the festive season) ….

Food Glorious Food

•December 7, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I have to be honest here and just spit it out:
“I am so so terribly disappointed in myself!” There I’ve said it yet strangely the words seem empty – the revelation has not miraculously cured me. I am one of those people who loves their food – give me anything -and I mean anything except Anchovies and you can bet that my plate will be cleaned. Its 5 months now since I had Trent and yet I still cannot seem to get myself motivated to get on the weight-loss wagon. Could it be this time of year? All I know is that I have a heavy burden on my shoulders – food for me does not come guilt-free. Every morning I wake up and there it is – this fog hanging over me, this realizatin that I will not be walking to the wardrobe and pulling out any pants with zips and buttons but will once again be reaching for my black maternity pants with the stretch waist.

I sit at the table with a plate of food in front of me not hungry enough to clean the plate but cleaning it nonetheless thereby feeding the monster inside me. My love / hate relationship with food is spinning out of control as I force feed myself chocolates, food, desserts and then more chocolates. 80% of the time it is not hunger that drives me to eat, it is a need to punish myself for looking the way I do. I.NEED.HELP and I mean very very soon.

I am told that how I perceive myself to be is completely distorted to how other people see me and have to admit that in the past I have had border-line annorexia (and bulimia) not once but twice due to this warped perception. Something inside me, possibly from a very young age, has left me a non-believer in myself. I don’t feel like a good person sometimes, I am highly sensitive to what people think of me, I feel so lonely in this head of mine even when surrounded by all the love in the world.

But I will get to a place even if I have to remind myself in the mirror every single morning that I have a world of love to give. I will love myself, I will accept myself and then and only then will I be able to move forward with a healthy diet without sabotaging my attempts.