2 More Sleeps!! (Or should I say sleepless nights?)

Pictures below are a pair of leather hand-made shoes for baby sent from hubby’s cousins in the UK – they are absolutely adorable and were found by Becky and Kate online.

Sleep, when it comes is dream-filled, muddled, confusing and very restless. So I had to sleep this afternoon to catch up but even that is difficult with my daughter slamming my door open every five minuets :o( – Yet here I sit at 8:45pm completely alert knowing that I will probably only attempt sleep shortly before 12 midnight again. I have so many thoughts going through my head and once again I am feeling sad that my family can not be here to share this special moment with me. My MIL called today and said she would definately try get a flight out on the Friday and come for the weekend (next weekend) which is at least something.

I have a “friend” that I spoke about earlier in my blog – a fairweather fried who proved herself completely incapable of supporting me through my pregnancy and having nothing at all to do with the organising of my stork party etc (in fact she did not even come to my stork party and with no good reason either since she was at home that day). I have little to no respect for her anymore because of what she put me through including making nasty comments behind my back which ppl were quick to repeat to me(again this is stuff I have previously mentioned in my blog). Well she has suddenly reared her head in the last few weeks and my hubby seems quite open to the fact that she is trying to get back in my life as he has a good relationship with her husband and my being friends with her would make his life easier (you know how men are) but in my opionion she is doing it for the fame and glory now that the birth of baby is here – she wants to be the one that spreads the good word to everybody in town – she wants a bit of that limelight for herself but a sad part is that she is probably thinking now that the pregnancy is over she can pick up with me where we left off and get her old drinking buddy back again…? No such luck, I have absolutely zero fucking respect for shallow people like that – let alone do I want them to be a a part of my life when their only interest is sitting getting shit-faced in a pub all weekend.
Hubby went to her house this afternoon to work on his porche before we sell it and to watch a bit of the rugby then came home and told me she wants to come visit me tomorrow and “see me one last time with my tummy”. If I can be brutally honest the thought of her coming here and putting on pretences makes me want to vommit. I told hubby as much too – I think my words to him were along the lines of “She can fuck right off – I have no interest in her spoiling my last family day before baby arrives – and besides she’s going to head straight for my bar and think drinking in celebration is the order of the day again” (sorry but I feel very strongly about this). Hubby shrugged his shoulders as usual and didn’t feel it pertinent to agree with me at all even though he has told me on a few different occassions that he doesn’t like her one bit. Either way I will make sure the family and I go out somewhere nice for lunch so I can avoid her.
At some point after the pregnancy when things all settle down I fully intend to confront her with all she has said and done and I fully expect her to plead innocence which is her norm. I ALWAYS get whats bothering me off my chest – I wont have it any other way but I love this boy way to much to have challenged her about her wrongdoing while pregnant because once I get started I can work myself into an uncontrollable rage if the wrong buttons are pushed so best it was avoided for mine and baby’s sake.

So this post has become all about something I didnt even intend to discuss but you know what? I feel better …. It’s off my chest in a manner of speaking and it will be one less thing to worry about when I try to sleep tonight.

Apart from all that I repacked mine and baby’s hospital bag today. Mmmmmmm baby’s clothes smell so nice I just can’t help holding them up to my nose. I use the sunlight baby handwash powder and baby sta-soft and the whole room smells of it when you walk in there. I recharged my camera’s and deleted all current pics from my memory card so I don’t run out of space. Its pretty much all done now. I will be taking my two small holiday bags and probably a kit bag as well for odds and ends including the camera’s – whew feels like Im moving in …..

I’ll be back tomorrow and may even brave posting a last pic of my belly xoxo

P.S – to all the ladies on OPM thank you so much for your support throughout my pregnancy – I could not have done it without you. To those still pregnant, relish every single moment – don’t wish it away because its all gone too quick and trust me – even though your precious baby is here there is an emptiness when the belly is gone. To those still TTC or those who have suffered through losses I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your constant selfless words of encouragement which speak of such bravery and strength it brings tears to my eyes. I want you all to know that you are constantly in my prayers and I will continue to follow your journey until those prayers are answered….. xoxoxoxoxo


~ by irene0211 on July 4, 2009.

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