I know how very quickly a pregnancy’s milestones can be forgotten now as I try to recall my 5 yr old daughter’s first nine months now that I am once again pregnant. I have kept no record of dr’s appointments, dates, tests etc which would really have settled a lot of questions I have right now. Therefore I am now planning on being a little more disciplined this time around since it will probably be my last (hard as it is to admit).

I am 38 years old (as of November 2008) and I have a 15 yr old daughter Kaylah and a 5 yr old daughter Morgan. We have been ttc baby number 3 since my little one was a year old but after a blighted ovum I suddenly had ovulation problems which required fertility treatment and the pregnancy we wanted so desperately simply eluded us. OPK’s, BBT’s, Charting, BFN BFN BFN!!

Around July 2008 I told Oliver (my husband) that I could no longer put myself through this and we needed to accept that it was just not on the cards for us to have another baby. I had been putting my life (including my diet) on hold for far too long and just wanted to get on with living and not simply existing. Although he was not happy with my decision he did not push the issue and I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. I went so far as to convince myself how lucky I was that I did not have to go through nappies, bottles, sleepless nights etc and just started settling in to my new life and the peace I had made with all of this. I mean I was turning 38 right?? Far too old to be worrying about having more babies … right?

Well … need I say more…. very very true what they say .. take away the stress that your intense need to have a baby brings and everything seems to fall into place.

I figure my conception date was about 1 week before my birthday which would place it around 26th Oct. There I was after being pregnant for 5 weeks thinking it was yet another long cycle that I had simply had enough of and the bloating I was feeling and tender breasts etc I put down to my impending period. I then did something really silly and put myself on the pill since pregnancy would not have occured to me in the slightest. I had started to feel nauseous and very tired and weak shortly after starting the pill and after two weeks of feeling ill Oli suggested it could be the pill that was causing it. All the signs were there … my aversion to certain foods, tender breasts, frequent urination, fatigue, nausea (insert stoopid here). I was completely blinded because of all the years of fertility treatment I had endured including clomid, injections, HCG’s, sperm analysis, blood tests. After much insistence from friends and family who were concerned for my sudden loss of appetite for … well…. life for the most part I decided to take two days off work to just recuperate and maybe see a dr. The second day (3 December 2008) I made an appointment which I very nearly cancelled but for the benefit of others I saw it through. I had arrived a little early and was to see a locum who was standing in for my regular dr. The pharmacy was next door and I decided then and there to buy a pregnancy test and test in the pharmacy toilets as I figured it would cost me a less than having the test done by the dr.


~ by irene0211 on January 5, 2009.

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